Winter Visitors

As we approached home last September after nearly three months on the road, we stopped on at Barkcamp State Park in Ohio for our final night of camping. The weather was mild and with the weekend approaching, the park was packed with RVs, tents, and vans ready for a weekend in the great outdoors.

Fortunately, we had a reservation and squeezed into a spot next to a large party which was rocking to some raucous beats. We had just made our peace with the loud music when the same group fired up the most massive generator I have ever seen (or heard). The ground shook.

The camp officer kindly allowed us to move to the last remaining space in the campground, the “Emergency Space” that was around the corner. The generator could still be heard but it was more subdued. You might pretend it was large truck passing on a nearby road.

All of which to say, that when we returned to Barkcamp earlier this second week of January, it was a very different place. It is now winter, of course, and the trees are bare. It was also 4 degrees Celsius and snowing lightly when we arrived, though the sky soon cleared. There was no attendant was at the open gate to collect our fee. We found an empty site (they were all empty) and set up camp.

We prepared a quick meal of hot soup and pasta at our picnic table and dined – alone. There was not a soul to be seen and the only sounds were the hooting owls which very grammatically called, “whom! whom!” We had the whole dang park to ourselves. Amazingly the water and lights were still turned on in the shower rooms, not always the case in the winter. The water was hot.

The temperature dropped further overnight and by morning there was a thin layer of ice on the inside of the van’s windshield. I had awoken several times during the night to find a luminous full moon directly overhead and the soft sounds of night critters. It was chilly during the few moments, I needed to spend outside but the van holds warmth nicely and the down comforter was nice to get back under. We retired at around 8:30 p.m. and slept more than 10 hours.

In the morning we skipped breakfast and just made coffee enjoying our freshly ground and brewed joe while packing up.

Heading back toward highway, we slowed at the park gate once more to try and pay for our night’s accommodations. The booth was still deserted. “Catch you on the way back,” I thought as we picked up speed.

More likely, it will be Spring before the fee collectors are back. In addition to the other benefits, winter camping is also often a bargain.

The nocturnal creatures figured it out long ago. Time your movements to when the rest of the word is hunkered down or asleep and you’ll have the world mostly to yourself. You don’t have to stray outside your comfort zone, only outside the comfort zone of 95% of humanity to find yourself enjoying the rarified air of solitude.

Make sure to bring plenty of warm clothing.

Knowing When to Quit

“The time to quit is before you wish you had.”
― Kimberly K. Jones, Sand Dollar Summer

Annie Duke, the world renown poker player has a new book, Quit: The Power of Knowing When to Walk Away. She was interviewed recently by Steven Levitt on his podcast, People I Mostly Admire.

Many of us find quitting is one of the hardest things to do, particularly in our culture which says “Winners never quit and quitters never win.”

As I am writing, Kevin McCarthy is taking his 11th shot in three days to become Speaker of the U.S. House of Representatives in spite of having been 20 votes short of success on each of the 10 previous votes. McCarthy was asked by a reporter last night, “Are there any circumstances under which you would consider pulling out of the race?”

“No,” he replied.

“Not one?”

“Not one.”

Now that may simply be necessary political posturing but it certainly does beg the question.

What would it take for Kevin McCarthy to abandon his ambition to be speaker. What would it take for him to quit and what would it cost him?

One of the things I have heard said about McCarthy is that he has dreamed of being speaker for all of his political career. For him to give up, to quit this dream, is to walk away from his very identity, the story he tells himself about who he is. It may be among very hardest things to do even when the cost of not doing so is complete and utter humiliation.

And it begs a question for us as well.

How do you know when it’s time to quit?

As I think back, many of the times I have called it quits have been pivot points in my life. The ones that were most difficult were the ones where I had to reassess who I was. The moment of quitting was scary but was followed almost immediately with a sense of relief, freedom, and even wonder. Invariably, quitting was the beginning of a new and better chapter.

Most of my ‘quits’ have been jobs. I have quit solid secure jobs, jobs I enjoyed, six times in order to change direction or seek new opportunities to learn. The last time (2020) was to leave the workforce entirely and face the final frontier, retirement (the scariest of all.)

I don’t regret any of these quits.

Often there are real barriers to quitting chief among them are fears such as:

• Will I be able provide for myself and my family?

• How will I use my time?

• What will happen next?

• Won’t I be throwing away all I have invested?

• And (perhaps most often) who would I be if I didn’t do X?

The new year is a time traditionally associated with fresh starts, beginnings, and resolutions to change. Often these resolutions take the form of attempting to quit something. Quit smoking, quit alcohol, quit overeating, quit a toxic job, a destructive relationship, or other habits that we know do not move us toward our best selves.

Why is it so hard to make these changes?

One reason is that these habits, jobs, relationships serve our sense of self. After all aren’t we for the most part, the sum of the things we do more than the sum of the things we believe?

Perhaps the hardest component of change is figuring out what you are willing to say no to – what you will quit. Because as Duke, who herself quit a highly successful poker career, says, “the hardest thing to walk away from is who you are.”

What would you like to quit, to say no to, to walk away from in 2023?

How would you have to redefine yourself in order to succeed?

What would you need to become to walk away from who you are?

2022 Wrap Rap

I am not a big believer in good years and bad years. Every year has its ups and downs. 2022 Certainly presented challenges for the world and for me personally. We often have little control over the cards that are dealt. In the end, it’s the way you play the hand that matters most. Here are the five highlights of my year for better and for worse.

 Alaska

By far the best thing I did this year was the three-month road trip Barbara and I took to Alaska and back. It was day after day of stunning scenery, incredible wildlife, and many adventures. Just spending the entire summer outdoors was a joy.

It wasn’t always comfortable. It rained. There were mosquitos. Sometimes we were cold or sick (see next item) but what a journey and at just $100 per day including camping, fuel, and entrance fees, it was a very economical way to travel. We decided exactly how long we wanted to stay in each place and when we were ready to move on, we did. If you missed the photos the first time around and want to see them, they are online here. 

In other travel, I also visited Florida, Cincinnati, Chicago, as well as all the places between Maryland and Alaska.  I also enjoyed some spring hiking in my beloved Adirondacks.

Covid

No one wants to get Covid but if you must, this is the preferred way to do it: a mild case after having had four doses of vaccine.

Just outside Denali National Park, I started with a scratchy throat. By day 2 I had a runny nose and a cough.

At the end of day three I took a test (I happened to have brought them on the road) and I was surprised to see a positive result.

Day four was much of the same and by day five I was 90 percent recovered.

Having had it, I now feel less nervous about getting it again (though I know that is a false sense of security). I got a 5th shot notwithstanding. I am very grateful for not having gotten more ill and would be fine with not getting it again!

The Stock Market

The 20 percent decline in the stock market (and my retirement savings) was expected at some point though not necessarily in the year my wife retired (I retired in 2020). Yet, I am grateful for this correction. Here’s why.

In December of 2021 the market was WAY overvalued by any measure.  It simply couldn’t sustain those valuations indefinitely. The decline in my savings made me much more conservative about what I can draw to live on. It is still plenty to meet my basic needs plus a yearly road trip or two.  This dose of realism may save me from more financial stress in the long run because it prompted me to think more cautiously.

As with getting Covid, I now feel more secure. I experienced my first 20% loss since retiring and things still look ok. I didn’t freak out and move everything to cash, which I know would have been foolish.

Finally, just as what goes up must come down, the opposite is true. Eventually, the market will turn around. Because: Reversion to the Mean. I have to remember to not get too excited when it does.

Writing

I wrote some forty blog posts this year and I am pretty sure at least my mom read a few of them. I have often said that I write these for me and if anyone else reads them, that’s a plus. They help me think about things and remember what I believe.

Though my poetry writing has been less prolific recently, I have written a few poems that I am pleased with this year, including the one appearing my writing workshop’s anthology, 50 Years of the Moose. Did you get your copy yet? On sale wherever fine books are sold (well, Amazon anyway).

Family & Friends

No doubt the best part of the year was the time spent with family and friends. I got to spend quality time with all of my immediate family (not to be taken for granted after 2020!) and with all of my cousins and their families. There were weddings, birthdays, and celebrations of the lives of my Aunt Barbara and my Uncle Steve both of whom left legacies of love and laughter. They are missed.

We saw our children multiple times in spite of the distances between us and got my mom safely relocated to Cincinnati where she will be close to my sister.  My dad and his wife are still nearby and doing well. (Note: as I was posting this my dad tested positive for Covid. May his recovery be complete and swift!).

I am grateful for friends near and far who are always up for a walk, a cup of coffee, or a zoom chat, even when what they are after is free Apple technical support. I am at your service.

And most grateful for my friend and co-traveler of 40+ years who continues somehow to tolerate my eccentricities and irritating habits. You can check out her take on life at runningbarb.com.

Here’s some what is planned for 2023, inshallah:

•  A hike to the bottom of the Grand Canyon – and back up

• The summit of a few peaks in the Adirondacks

• A road trip to Cincinnati and Colorado

• A week-long bicycle trip in Northern Wisconsin

• Many poetry workshops

• More homemade pizza

Here’s wishing you and yours a healthy and happy 2023. May your valuations always be fair!